WOW I haven’t posted for a while! I can promise a torrent of writing soon though…
I was absolutely beautiful as I walked down the aisle, and I was certain of this. I smiled slightly as I walked, aware that all eyes were fixed on me, and only me, the women jealous of me, the men envious of foolish Edward. I heard gasps from the people I passed. I was sure they were noticing my elfin figure, my enchanting eyes, my Creole complexion. Edward was standing perhaps two yards ahead of me, but I didn’t let my gaze pass to the man I was about to enslave myself to. Instead I shot sweeping glances at my audience, who were all enthralled. Father was amongst the crowd. He looked slightly deranged, despite my best efforts, pleased to be rid of me and my ‘condition’ and triumphant on having fooled poor Edward. Edward. I looked into his eyes now; we were only a yard apart. Foolish Edward. He claimed to love me, and perhaps he honestly was under this delusion his father and mine had forced on him, but he loved my beauty and riches. I knew his father was aware of the Mason ‘condition’ and had been offered a rather large amount of money to bribe him to persuade Edward to marry me, and I also knew he had neglected to inform Edward of this valuable knowledge. Why should he find out? Our marriage benefited him as he would gain our riches; our marriage benefited me as I would not be forced to an asylum when the ‘condition’ struck. Of course when it did strike, I was aware that his love would rapidly wear off, but by then it would be too late. I felt no guilt about this because I don’t believe I was capable of it and Edward was so very foolish and arrogant.
I was quite lost in this train of thought when I realised it was my turn to proclaim ‘I do’.
“I do,” I said, quite without feeling, though of course, Edward did not notice, being incapable of noticing anything. He gave me a look that could almost be mistaken for affection and kissed me. It was all I could do not to slap him and retch from his lips touch. I was no longer Miss Bertha Mason. I was Mrs Rochester.
It was two weeks later when I had the first fit of madness. Edward ignored it. Then another. Then another. Then I was locked in my room with the wretched Grace Poole.
I will probably be here all my life.